Swimming in Circles

Malcolm McCormick, better known as Mac Miller has become a household name over the years. If you’re around the same age range as me then you probably listened to Mac from your early high school years up until his death. His discography is truly some of the best I’ve listened to. He was always able to captivate his audience from his upbeat projects to some of his more somber ones.

For a lot of fans, we were introduced to Mac’s earlier projects such as: ‘K.I.D.S’ and ‘Best Day Ever’ during their early teenage years. At this point Mac made music that got us through those awkward early high school moments that were often cringe worthy. Popular songs like ‘Donald Trump’ were always signs of good times like hanging out with friends or just enjoying life. Even though these projects were well received, Mac still faced criticism for being immature but hey, that's what kids are.

In November 2011 Miller released his debut album, “Blue Slide Park” which presented us to a frat boy version of Mac who rapped about money, partying, and just having fun with friends. Songs like ‘Frick Park Market’ and ‘Under The Weather’ topped the charts for a bit. They were great songs that were about having a great time but looking back at it now it wasn’t going to last. At the time of the release, Mac was still signed to Rostrum Records and eventually got overshadowed by an up and coming Wiz Khalifa who was signed to the same label.

This upbeat, preppy version of Miller died within the next two years upon the release of his mixtape ‘Macadelic’ and album ‘Watching Movies with the Sound Off’ which showed us a new side of him. Mac stepped away from his comfort zone of being that happy go lucky person and came back with a darker approach with both projects. It was honestly a surprise for most fans since it wasn’t anything we had really seen from the aspiring rapper. Some may argue that this may be his best project due to it being a turning point in his career but this was just the start of more to come.

From 2014-2015 we saw Mac fall deep into the world of substance abuse in his two projects: ‘Faces’, and ‘GOOD:AM’. It was sad seeing him fall through this hole but in my opinion it was some of his best music. Faces somewhat felt like a cry for help. Throughout the entire project we hear him struggle with his drug addiction, losing his sanity, and plays with the thought of suicide. It was somewhat scary knowing that every song on Faces was recorded while under the influence but it eventually allowed us to see what was going on in his life.Within the first fifteen seconds of ‘Faces’ we are greeted by Mac saying, “Yeah, I should’ve died already. Came in, I was high already. Everybody tripping that my mind ain’t steady”. This line alone sets the course for the rest of the project being an emotional drug filled journey. Following ‘Faces’ was the release of ‘GOOD:AM’ in which we saw Mac trying to escape from his dependency on drugs on alcohol. It was a good change in the artist’s character. He still dabbled with the thought of substance hoping that he won’t join the twenty seven club which for some fans it was a rude awakening that he might actually become a member if he stayed on the same path.

I have to admit, I am a sucker for a lovey dovey album and in 2016 that’s exactly what we got with the release of ‘The Divine Feminine’. An album dedicated to his lover at the time, Ariana Grande; this album took my heart and honestly made me feel like I was in love with someone too. This album was the first time I was able to Mac live which made each listen afterwards better. Although this album was his shortest album to date, it might be the most concise one he has. Every time I listen to the album, it warms my heart and always puts a smile on my face so I have to give him props for showing out on this one.

So this last section is going to sum up the emotional ride from Mac Miller’s albums ‘Swimming’ and posthumous, ‘Circles’. I knew it was going to take me some time to write this due to how bad Mac’s death affected me. Outside of Kid Cudi, Mac was one of few artists that I listened to that showed their real emotions which in term helped connect with his audience. It got to the point where it felt like you knew Mac personally without ever meeting him because he put everything he had on each track he released. His music got us through the highs and lows, and just kept us going even though we saw him struggle over the years.

For myself as well as other fans across the globe, the untimely death of Mac after the release of his album ‘Swimming’ was something that hit too close to home. I personally tried to brush his death off as something that didn’t affect me until I started to realize that could’ve been any of us. After ‘Swimming’, we were left wondering what was next? Do we take steps to prepare ourselves and go through the stages of grief? Do we remember him by listening to all of his past projects? If we do the latter, how do we prevent ourselves from breaking down knowing that Mac Miller is gone? So many questions that kept me up at night because at the end of the day, nobody saw this coming.

I kept listening to ‘Swimming’ asking if this was the final straw. We all knew Mac had unreleased songs/projects that we wanted to hear but we got good news in early 2020 with the announcement of ‘Circles’, the companion of previous album ‘Swimming’. Emotionally I wasn’t ready for another Mac album knowing that he was no longer with us but I couldn’t leave the album on the table.

After listening to ‘Circles’ for the first time, I realized that this was the album I needed from him. It gave me a sense of self appreciation. Both ‘Swimming’ and ‘Circles’ focused on the battle with depression in hopes to make it through the rough patches that life throws at you. Sometimes we spend our lives not focusing on what’s right in front of us and we lose sight of just enjoying life. In both albums, Mac faces the issue of worrying about the future and staying in the constant loop of a repetitive life. It’s hard to realize that we get warped into that continuous loop but sometimes it’s okay as long as we are able to see the next day and so on. At the end of the day, we all are just swimming in circles.

To wrap up this post, I’d like to thank Mac Miller for always being such an influential person in my life. Although we won’t be hearing much new music from here on out, it’s still great to see how far he’s come over the years. In a way we somewhat grew up with Mac and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. He had the music industry in the palm of his hands and ran with it. Whether you're a old or new fan, there's always something that we can connect on and that's how amazing Miller is!

Let me know what your favorite Mac Miller project or song is down in the comments!